This movie is so bad, I simply had to rate it a ten. It's like the odometer in your car. If you drive it long enough, it will come back around to zero. Starting at ten, this film moved so far down my scale, that it came back around to the top. It is a model of perfection in the realm of the awful. I love it! If you are a fan of Mystery Science Theatre, find a copy and gather up friends to roast this rare slice of Americana. One can only pray that a special edition DVD is on the way. Can you imagine the audio track with Gene Simmons and John Stamos bantering back and forth about wardrobe difficulties or the weak coffee at craft service? The George Lazenby trivia game?! Not every movie has to be Casablanca to be a classic, so enjoy "Never Too Young To Die
Never Too Young to Die (1986) 1080p YIFY Movie
Never Too Young to Die (1986) 1080p
A top secret agent is murdered, so his estranged son - a high school gymnast - teams up with his dad's attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him and now plans a major terrorist attack.
IMDB: 5.05 Likes
The Synopsis for Never Too Young to Die (1986) 1080p
Velvet Von Ragner is a powerful murderous psychopathic gang leader, but also a hermaphrodite who prides himself of being both a man and a woman. He's holding a gang rally where he announces his plans to poison the water supply and pipeline of a major US city. However, top US secret agent and double O counterpart Drew Stargrove steals a key component he needs to pull this off. After an action packed shoot out, Stargrove is surrounded and although he puts up a good fight, he's eventually killed by Von Ragner. However, the component is not on him. Meanwhile, his estranged son Lance, a talented high school gymnast, receives the word of his father's death. As part of their denial protocol, the government claims that he's been killed in a car accident, which Lance doesn't buy. Lance notices that part of his inheritance is a farm he never knew his father had, so he goes there to check it out. The only person living there turns out to be Danja Deering, a beautiful female spy, who worked with ...
The Director and Players for Never Too Young to Die (1986) 1080p
The Reviews for Never Too Young to Die (1986) 1080p
Simply a must see.Reviewed byMichael C. Hawk (unclebusu)Vote: 10/10
This is the absolute worst movies I have ever seen. The plot sucks, theactors suck, and the script sucks. However this is what makes the movieabsolutely excellent.The sheman Ragnar (Gene Simmons) has an evil plan to pollute a citydam byputting toxic in it. A device developed by the father of Lance (GeorgeLazenby - ex 007) is needed and his evil rocker horde fights John Stamosover it. Fantastic ending sequence when Lance (John Stamos) forces themetalnail of Ragnar into the shemans neck followed by a 100 m drop into the dam.
John Stamos is a perfect cast with his shoulder-long Prince Valiant hairandso is Gene Simmons with his extravagant transvestite acting. I laughedthrough the hole thing. Candidate for the title worst production ever.
This has to be seen to be believed. John Stamos plays college gymnastLance Stargrove whose father is a super spy that still finds time tosend him care packages. When Dad is killed by hermaphrodite Velvet VonRagnar (Gene Simmons), Stargrove teams with sexy spy Danja Deering(Vanity) to get revenge. Oh yeah, Simmons wants to poison the watersupply with radioactive waste or something.
Stamos brings perfect hair to his role, which is the most importantthing. There are lots of scenes of him doing gymnastics. Perhaps thedirector was a fan of '80s classic Gymkata. He also rides a dirt bikebecause in the '80s dirt bikes were cool. One of the many highlights ofthe movie is when Stamos is being beaten up by two of Simmons' thugs.He is crying like a little baby but then he sees a picture of his dad.Suddenly he's like Popeye on a spinach high and he kicks the crap outof the bad guys ("The name's not scumbag, it's Stargrove! LanceStargrove!").
Vanity is a stone fox, as usual. She also has a nude scene, as usual.Her seduction of John Stamos I will mock publicly but privately Ithought it was hot! Gene Simmons is gross to look at dressed in dragbut a hoot hamming it up as the super villain. Seeing him flirt withStamos is priceless. He also likes to use his middle finger for...well,I won't spoil it. There's an Asian inventor friend of Stamos' who, atone point in the film, wears an outfit that is practically every colorknown to man. George Lazenby plays the spy dad. I'm sure some castingdirector beamed from ear to ear over that ingenious casting. He dresseslike a Ghost Buster and uses a bulletproof umbrella as a shield. In ascene that I'm certain was the actor breaking the fourth wall, Lazenbysays to Simmons "Oh come on, this is stupid."
The movie is filled with laughably cheesy music. The song that playsduring Stamos' first scene keeps repeating his character's name"Stargrove" over and over. Simmons gets to sing during his club routine("Yeeeah!"). There's also a rather cheesetastic tune that plays leadingup to Stamos taking Vanity to Pound Town.
This is the kind of movie you just don't see anymore. These days whenthey try to do trash like this, it's always so self-aware and obviousthat it takes the fun out of it. Truly "so-bad-it's-good" flicks don'ttry to be bad on purpose. If you ever wondered what Uncle Jesse didbefore Full House, all your questions will be answered here. This movieis so awesome it will change your life. If you watch this, it will makea man out of you. So female viewers beware.